My Attempt To Describe Depression

coked to the side familybringsjoy.comDepression is raw.

It’s debilitating…paralyzing.

Sometimes, I think to myself, “I should be used to this feeling,” not that it would change how it feels…how horrible it is.

Depression seems to slow time down while Joy speeds it up.  Oh how I wish it was the opposite.

looking away familybringsjoy.comWhen I am experiencing a bout of depression I feel helpless.

I feel stopped, plugged up, held up like there is no progression.

Like there is nothing I can do BUT feel…and it’s sad.

Chemical depression is not always due to outside influences.  It just happens, no matter what circumstances I’m in.

I have so much to be grateful for.  God has blessed me immensely, yet I feel sad…then the shame wheel starts rolling.  Boy does that make it worse!  It’s honestly better to not think.  Ha!  For me that is impossible.  My mind continuously thinks.

serious familybringsjoy.comThe only thing that brings me hope is knowing this will pass.  My history shows that it won’t be here forever and I am so counting on that.  I wish it would hurry and be done.

I wish it would hurry and be done.

be done depression
We would not know joy without sorrow,


  1. It is a hard road to walk. You have my respect, love and understanding.

  2. Oh friend, I know it is and I know how you feel. It runs rampant in my family and I’ve had my share. Like you I thank God daily for all of his blessings and wonder to myself why are you still so sad. I’m praying it goes away very soon and you are feeling better soon. Remember to get some Vitamin D in because it really does help!

    Hugs to you,
    Andrea Schuneman recently posted..Trip out West {St.George Utah}

  3. Sending love!! I have not been diagnosed with clinical depression, but my health issues have definitely brought on depression at times (brain/gut connection…). I always call them my “underwater” days. Some times I just wake up underwater. I never know exactly when it will happen. If it helps, your photos are gorgeous! No lie, friend. Beautiful. 🙂

  4. Cheryl Beaty says

    You know I can understand and relate to these feelings. I liked the suggestion about the vitamin D. These dreary dark days don’t help much. Need sunshine! I love you and know you will feel better soon. Do you have anything planned to look forward to? Love, mom

  5. Thank you for sharing this today. My husband suffers from depression and sometimes I forget how overwhelming it can be. Your post was a welcome addition to my blog roll today – believe it or not it brought me hope that better days are ahead for our family. Keeping you in my prayers and hoping you are feeling better soon!

  6. I can totally relate. I can’t believe sometimes how awful it feels to get hit by depression when it seems like I should be used to it by now. But it always gets better. It always gets better. That has become my mantra over the years. Hang in there.

  7. Wow! Shan, I loved your post! Being raw about yourself and about depression isn’t easy, but your words were so touching too and your thoughts about how you deal with it can truly help others. I’ve been through it at times and it’s been worse with certain challenges then others, but I am always grateful to learn from those experiences in a positive way! Thank for sharing who you are!! :). Love ya! Xoxoxo (beesbutterfly)

  8. Oh my goodness…this is the MOST comments I’ve had on here in a while. I am very touched by everyone’s outpouring of encouragement and support. This has taught me a very important lesson…I am not alone. Being a woman of faith I am grateful to know my Heavenly Father and Savior are with me every day. Knowing this helps to some extent on days such as these. However, since I don’t have a lot of contact with people in real life, (not virtual life) I forget there are others who share this ‘disease’ and can relate. To feel isolated is one of the most horrible things in life. I have always been open about my challenges/weaknesses/mental health issues. It is who I am. I came into the world this way. I wrote this post as therapy for me. It is very therapeutic for me to write about how I’m feeling…it’s like if I get it out…it sometimes helps. I didn’t think it would be very beneficial for anyone else, nor would I think someone would read about something so down and negative. So this is a huge surprise.
    I am extremely grateful for each comment. I’m touched by how many of you came by way of Instagram. Oh how I love my Instagram friends and the connections I have made on there. You really don’t know how much you mean to me. Thank you for your love and friendship. It truly helps to know I have friends who care about me.

  9. Hugs sister! Glad you are able to voice your thoughts and feelings. They truly are healing in the way we process things, I think. The silver lining is the fact that you KNOW there is the other side, the sun will rise, the laughter will sound, and joy will return in the morning. Praying for this season to be brief and trusting who you are in Christ: beloved.

  10. As someone who deals with the same, big hugs. I completely understand. I hope it passes soon.
    Anna@DIrectionsnotincluded recently posted..Our DIY IKEA kitchen – A very delayed reveal

  11. I realize this comment is late, but I hope this wave of depression passes soon. It stinks not to be able to enjoy things when this hits. I hope you are already better.

  12. Thanks for sharing and I too hope will end! For you and countless others. I’ve been plagued since menopause/launchingfam/etc. and it saps the energy right out of you! Yet very few people have compassion Or empathy; they feel you have the ability to just get over it!! Of course, the creative endeavors help but when ones feels that empty hollow feeling descending it is he’ll to get motivated!! So by the grace of God go thee, I say!!

    Your site/blog/ideas are great, I am so glad I happened upon your site thru Pinterest. I love doing DIY projects, turning old stuff into useable, beautiful pieces. I get so much satisfaction from it!!

    Thanks for sharing and creating

  13. Shan, been there, unfortunately still having to deal with it. There are always better days ahead. As my daughter says, “Just breath MOM”

  14. I completely appreciate you for being so honest, brave and shared your suffering with us. I also went through it during lockdown and it took me sometime to recover but it definitely passes, just a phase. God is with you.
    John Gatesby recently posted..Do I Have Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS)?

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