What would you do?

I feel like I have failed as a Mom when it comes to my Son.  We have been to two counseling sessions so far.  First session was together {my Son & I} and the last time we spoke to the counselor separately.

I am supposed to be disciplining less and creating a relationship more.  Apparently there is no need to speak much, or touch, just spend time with him.  Here in lies the problem, my Son doesn’t want to be around me.  Yesterday I asked him to clean his room.  He had been on the wii most of the day.  So I decided I would reach out, spend some time with him, by offering to help clean his room.  This is something I HATE to do more than most things in life.  His room is usually an utter disaster area.  I only have to take one look at it to get completely overwhelmed and exhausted.  However, I thought it might be a good way for us to spend some time together.  {Acts of Service is also my love language.}  I was helping him hang up his shirts that were clean but thrown on top of his dresser.  I look over at him and he has his shirt up over his mouth and nose.  I ask him why.  He says it is because I have lotion on.  He doesn’t like the smell of lotion.  That was it.  I was done.  I told him he could finish hanging his clothes up by himself since it was torture to be around me.  The thing is, I had no lotion on me.  I had just been running that morning while the kids were at tennis and if anything I stank!  I hadn’t had a chance to take a shower yet.  My youngest brought home 2 friends to swim after tennis lessons.  I didn’t have time to hop in the shower while keeping an eye on them swimming.

Today I told him I would take him to the batting cages after dropping off the oldest for drivers ed.  I asked my Son to make sure his baseball uniform was clean for his game tonight.  I went into his room to retrieve more dirty clothes to add to the uniform to make a full load.  The top of his dresser was filled with clean clothes AGAIN.  I asked him calmly and nicely to put away the clean clothes.  In return, I received very disrespectful remarks with a shouting tone of voice.  I told him we were no longer going to go the batting cages.  His mood quickly increased to irate.  “I don’t understand what I did!”  I explain, barely before he interrupts, “I was not being disrespectful!  I did nothing wrong!”  He marches off and hits his Sister on the way to his room slamming the door behind him.

This above scenario is a daily occurrence.  I am yelled at by him every day.  It gets so old.  It makes me feel horrible.  I feel responsible.  What have I done that my Son would treat me this way?  So I think to myself, the counselor would want me to go ahead and take him to the batting cages.  But to me, if I do, then I am telling him it is okay for him to treat me that way.  Unfortunately, I know his behavior will be the same whether I take him or not.  So what do I do?  At this point I am so upset and crying while typing this post.  I don’t feel like taking him anywhere.

What would you do?  What is your advice?

So sad,