Mom’s Can Be Good Enough

It is my honor and privilege to have authors Becky & Hollee of Good Enough Is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhoodhere today for a brief interview.  They were also gracious enough to send me a copy.  I have carried this book with me everywhere…reading it whenever I have free time.  You know like when my daughter is at ballet, waiting at the doctor’s office, waiting to pick up a child from an activity, etc.{all that time adds up!}  Honestly, I knew I would love the book just by reading the title.  However, Becky & Hollee have done their research to back up their title.  See below…

Question: “Why is this generation of working mother so obsessed with perfection?”

Answer – Becky & Hollee: “We grew up being told, “You can do anything.” And many of us took that to mean, “You must do everything.” Many of the entry barriers faced by previous generations of women were gone when we entered the workforce, and we felt obligated to make the most of that. But even as we excelled in our careers, the barrage of messages about what was expected of us at home continued. The standards for maternal excellence were rising, and to lofty heights.

Our generation of moms was the first to professionalize motherhood. There would be no mistaking the contributions of at-home moms who approached their leadership in the home the same way they have handled their Ivy League educations and Wall Street power jobs. Moms who returned to work saw the standards set by their at-home peers, and a new power struggle emerged as we tried to make the “perfect” choices. It wasn’t the Mommy War we’d expected.”

Question: “Why is work/life balance such a hot topic in the news today?”

Answer – HOLLEE: “Many of the women we interviewed said work/life balance was the most pressing issue in their lives; it’s frequently discussed because the work/life dilemma has become acute now that so many dual-career couples are trying to manage demanding careers and parenthood.  Almost 5 million college-educated women in this country have children under 5; they don’t want to abandon their careers, but they don’t want to miss their children’s milestones. They were told they could Have It All and they’re doing whatever it takes to find that balance.

This really hit home for us when we conducted our survey. We were overwhelmed by the response — within 10 days of posting the link to our survey on Facebook, almost 1,000 women born between 1965 and 1980 logged on to share their stories. That says a lot about how much interest there is in the topic. We had moms from almost every state, representing every racial group and a huge variety of professional fields. We really took the pulse of American mothers at this moment in time.

Our experts believe work/life has become an even hotter topic because of First Lady Michelle Obama’s interest in the issue (and the recent White House forums). The other big reason? Work/life is finally hitting home for men; they want balance, too, and that requires each member of the family to identify their true priorities.”

Question: “What do you hope moms will take away from this book?”

Answer – HOLLEE: “We hope Good Enough is the New Perfect will be the manual that we didn’t have. Through the inspiring stories of the moms we interviewed and the experts who shared their experience, we hope our readers will learn that they don’t need to be perfect in every aspect of their lives. A lot of very successful women have achieved what they have by honing in on their main priorities and saying “enough” to the rest. Sometimes good enough is good enough. And it can be a lot happier way to go.

BECKY: And we hope it will expand the discussion about balance. Women need to feel OK opening up about these issues.”

Question: “How do I find my own New Perfect?”

Answer – HOLLEE: “I think you have to start by accepting an essential capitulation: You will not be able to do everything perfectly, and until you give yourself that freedom, you’re fighting a losing battle.

But once you do accept that, the world begins to open up to you, and possibilities that you never would have imagined begin to emerge. For example, until I could accept that it was OK to jump off of the partnership track at a law firm (and admit that it wasn’t the right fit for me), I couldn’t imagine doing anything else!

BECKY: Every woman has to define it for herself. But it starts in the same place for all of us: Figuring out what we love, and knowing what we do best.”

Many times while reading this book I felt a sense of relief and camaraderie.  I could relate to both the perfectionist “never enough” moms and the empowering “good enough” moms.  Interestingly enough, I realized while reading, I have experienced over the years my own trial and error to become a “good enough” mom.  I hope many mothers will be able to use this information to their benefit so they may save years of their life striving to do it all.  Not just for the sake of the mothers, themselves, but also for the good of the family as a whole.  Husbands and children will be happier in the long run as well.  Three cheers for Becky & Hollee!  I am thrilled to share this book with you.  It will be the perfect gift to give many of my friends for all different occasions.

I have gotten to know Hollee some via Twitter.  I love reading tweets about how she is treating her children to ice cream.  She, too, thought the Harry Potter movies were a little on the scary side.  {LOL}  There are very few people who will actually converse with me on Twitter. {Haven’t quite figured out why.}  Hollee always does and for that I am very grateful.  If you would like to learn more about authors Hollee and Becky, click here to be directed to my Books Bring Joy page.

Good Enough Is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood is available at bookstores nationwide and at Amazon by link below.

Disclosure:  Monetary compensation for this post will only be obtained by clicking on contained links and then purchasing product.

Reading Brings Joy,

Comments

  1. Great review. Sounds like it will be a great book for Moms to read.

    You hit a button with the comment “We grew up being told, “You can do anything.” And many of us took that to mean, “You must do everything.” Being a middle aged, empty nest mom I couldn’t help but to think that THIS is why my daughter is like she is…feeling she can do everything. I always thought it was her personality but now I am thinking it might have more with the way I raised her! I am guilty! I always told her “You can do anything!”

    • Pam, wonderful to meet you! First of all, I hope you understand the comment you referred to was by one of the authors of the book. However, I think it is possible many of our generation have internalized it meaning we MUST do everything. I am for sure our parents had very good intentions, wanting us to feel empowered…although I don’t feel it is a way of pointing the finger or placing blame. {Media and society contributed to this mentality as well.}

      Pam, don’t ever feel guilty for encouraging your children. We must have dreams and goals to aspire. It would be awful for you to have told your children the opposite. It is our generations responsibility to internalize and understand that we realistically can’t DO EVERYTHING. Delegating is wonderful! I highly recommend it!! 😀 Besides, if we do everything, then our children will not know how to function on their own. As parents, it is our responsibility to teach them how to be self sufficient so they will be prepared to leave the nest.

  2. perfectionist at heart here… i am loving the sounds of this book!

    i love what pam just said… how “many of us took it to mean… you must do everything”… so good!

    bringing up my two daughters… this sure has me thinking!

    thanks for sharing shannon!
    carissa… brown eyed fox recently posted..had to have it tuesday

  3. Oh I think I’m going to have to pick this book up! Thanks for the review!

Trackbacks

  1. […] I first heard about the book on Twitter and from some of the blogs that I follow like Shan’s blog Family Brings Joy. […]

  2. […] This is probably the first question guests ask me upon entering.  I never expected that question.  The answer…hubby spent 15 years of seeing paint, play dough, scrapbook paraphernalia and various other crafting supplies strewn all over the house.  He is very grateful to have a room dedicated for all my memorabilia as well.  It is the culmination of many years of planning.  The floor is cork, the counter tops are stainless steel looking laminate and I have filled every one of the cabinets you see.  I did not photograph the inside of all them, though.  Only a few are organized enough to share.   Please don’t notice the small circle on the laminate where super glue will forever remain… or the paint splattered on the wall.  I should have edited it out, but I’m practicing my good enough skills. […]

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